miércoles, 26 de agosto de 2009

So i'm gonna... cry you a river...



So..., i'm blue, and it so happens that when i'm blue i don't wanna be anything other than blue, it's not that i like it, it's that i simply feel that feeling happy now would be lying to myself, that why i hate to be sad around people, i don't like to tell them whatever is happening to me, they start trying to cheer me up and that really doesn't help at all...

I simply lie down listening to the sadest songs i can find*, such as the one i posted..., and i begin this feedback loop of sadness, looking to remain sad till the reason of my sadness is, fortunately, solved, but when i can't solve it... i begin rottening inside. It's really awful, like a stain you can't clean, i keep thinking, looking for an answer for salvation, but i can't simply get to it...

I fucking make things so complicated..., i wish i could be a regular guy..., not a coward..., cause i belive that's the word that best describes me, COWARD; asshole, evil and selfinterested wouldn't be so off the track...
Sometimes i just want to be hit by a car and be in a coma for a couple of years... just to see what happens in those years...

bah, i'm just babbling...

PS: i lied, the real reason why i don't want to be happy while i'm blue... is cause i belive that i deserve this sadness..., being happy would mean that i don't care about what seemed to make me sad in the first place...
I don't know if i got myself explained here..., but it doesn't matter, i'm blue anyway... and will keep on being blue...

*Kids, don't do this at home, it's really painful
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2 comentarios:

  1. Augustine27 de agosto de 2009, 4:48

    Sadness is beautiful!

    Gózala, entiendo totalmente lo que decís.

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  2. Anónimo27 de agosto de 2009, 16:33

    sometimes a little positivity does not hurt and comes in handy whenever we feel like crap and are not able to see the end of what's bringing us down. I've learned that positivity is one of a kick ass cure. And no one was able to reflect this more than this song, sung by Barbra Streisand.

    Smile, though your heart is aching.
    Smile, even though it's breaking.
    When there are clouds in the sky, you get by if you smile.
    Through your fears and sorrow, smile.
    And maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through for you.
    Light up your face with gladness.
    Hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near.
    That's the time you must keep trying.
    Smile, whats the use of crying
    You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if u just smile.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz449y_yN_A

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